It takes a thousand voices to tell a single story.
- Native American Proverb
Let me tell you a story using more than six words.
Summer 2012: I was there. You know it when you get there, because the thought of death doesn't scare you. Pain doesn't hurt like it should. I honestly can't describe it in words, but you'll know it. And I'll tell you something else: I never planned anything, never started giving away possessions, but I knew I was there.
I didn't kill myself because there is something else there, something that we can't see because the emptiness blinds us. It's life; our lives, waiting for us. The places we'll go, the people we'll meet. Our husbands and wives, waiting to first shake out hands. There's no way to truly silence the pain, but there is a saying: learn to live with your fears.
I looked my pain in the eye and I said "I am not afraid of you anymore." And it still comes to me sometimes – at night, during the day. In classes, right before Iwake up, as I'm taking a shower. It's as much a part of me as my mouth and my hands and my voice. And with my voice I say, "My life is waiting for me. And I'm not afraid of you anymore.