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1.
there are four kinds of love.

the first is honest.
the first is messy.

it’s smeared makeup.
it’s tears over a martini.

it’s people dancing alone.
it’s off-key singing, at the top
of your lungs.

it’s unmade beds.
it’s the hickey on your neck.

it’s the gasp he gave
when he first saw you,
how he missed your lips
when he tried to kiss you.

it's forgiveness
after he made you cry.



2.
the second kind is what you feel
for the boy lying next to you.

there’s cigarettes in the ashtray,
panties on the floor,
a lump in your throat,

and he does not love you back.



3.
the third kind is when you'll meet
his eyes

and that little moment will stretch
into something huge and permanent,

into a month/six months/a year
of a million glances that you'd thought
were meaningless.

it’s when you'll say nothing
and neither will he
because there will be no need
for words.

because he'll very nearly smile
and you'll know.



4.
the fourth is when you asked him,
“do you love me?”

he looked at you,
and softly, he said, “no.”

and you stared, disbelieving –
until he whispered,

it’s more than that.
Two more to go kiddos, so hang on tight!


Here's where I get to be an emotional sap, and share a quote from my all-time favorite poem with you; honestly, every time I read this, my throat closes a little. My eyes well with tears, and I literally have to stop what I'm doing. Arkaye Kierulf has put the fear of losing somebody you love into words that are beyond a clarity I could ever hope to achieve.

She said: give me more space. I said: don’t you love me anymore? She said: give me more space. I said: why? Did I do something wrong? Is there something wrong? Is there someone else? When did you stop loving me? In what precise moment? In what room? What city?

I held her tight as one who’s about to lose his own life holds on. Then she said: give me more space. I said: no.


From "Spaces."
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmadhat11d6:
MadHat11D6 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014   Writer
:clap: This is beautiful. I've used it as an example for a prompt in my group. I can send you a link when it's up. Have a nice day. =]
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014   Writer
I would love that. :heart: Thank you. 
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:iconmadhat11d6:
MadHat11D6 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014   Writer
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Student Writer
"it's forgiveness
after he made you cry. "

this.
Reply
:iconforever-or-yesterday:
i loved this poem so much i wanted to share it with my watchers. featured in a journal here: forever-or-yesterday.deviantar…

just tell me if you would like me to remove it, i will do so immediately.
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013   Writer
I'm perfectly okay with that. :D Thank you for the feature!
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:iconforever-or-yesterday:
No, thank you for writing this piece. it is spectacular.
Reply
:iconlehomie:
LeHomie Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013
I completely agree with you! :)
Good Job with this brilliant piece
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:iconmidnightmelodie:
MidnightMelodie Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Just wanted to say thanks, because you brought me to these lovely words.
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:iconforever-or-yesterday:
:3i do hope you favorited on the original! i'm glad you enjoyed it.
Reply
:iconavalanchepark:
avalanchepark Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013
it's wonderful to see that power radiating white light  
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013   Writer
:love: Thank you.
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:iconxxspiritualartistxx:
xXSpiritualArtistXx Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I've yet to experience something like this, but I am sooooo looking forward to 4. :)

This is absolutely lovely~
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013   Writer
Thank you so much! :D
Reply
:iconkmusicdreamer:
KMusicDreamer Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
What does it mean when your last boyfriend seemed like all four of these . . .
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013   Writer
It's a cycle, I suppose. I've experienced them all, from the same person.
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:iconkmusicdreamer:
KMusicDreamer Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Right . . . :/
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:iconshycreativity:
ShyCreativity Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
oh gosh 4 just ughh
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013   Writer
:squee:
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:iconforeverhighflying:
ForeverHighFlying Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, okay, I'm crying. Over the last few years, this just.. yeah. It..yeah. Feels.  Thank you.. <3
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   Writer
You're welcome. Though I'm sorry you cried. D:
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:iconforeverhighflying:
ForeverHighFlying Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's okay =) It was almost like good tears. Like, hey, someone gets it! tears ^^; xx <3
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:iconpagan-moon-dreamer:
Pagan-Moon-Dreamer Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
This is so amzing.
Really breath taking.
^^
And I really love the ending.
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconpagan-moon-dreamer:
Pagan-Moon-Dreamer Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Sure no prob!
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:iconthatsparklystalker:
ThatSparklyStalker Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013
I like, no wait, I LOVE how you focus more on describing the scene and each time that just serves to hammer home the different emotions. I think this is one of those pieces that will stay with me. Thank you for a beautiful read. 
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   Writer
You're welcome.
Thank you for you lovely words. :love:
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:iconthatsparklystalker:
ThatSparklyStalker Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013
You actually replied to all of my comments? I love you okay. :happybounce: Heart Hug
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013   Writer
Of course!
You took the time out of your day to talk to me, the least I can do is return the favor. :meow:
Reply
:iconthatsparklystalker:
ThatSparklyStalker Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013
*sends cyber hugs and kisses and cookies*
Reply
:iconorangeeyededen:
Orangeeyededen Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Its really good. You speak so truthfully, without holding anything back. This poem is something I will probably not forget. Thanks for writing it.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013   Writer
You're welcome.
And thank you. :heart:
Reply
:iconskeletonsbasements:
SkeletonsBasements Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Okay first off, your poem is freaken incredible! The straightforward telling that this is how that is, and the depictions that don't give too much, simultaneously keeping them gutwrenchingly honest. I think I can live in this poem for awhile. xD Thank you :)
Second, I went and read his poem, and I see what you mean about what he said. The fear of losing somebody, blasted as if..well, as if into space, huh?
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013   Writer
No problem. :heart:
And yes; "Spaces" is full of so much meaning and symbolism about life, from the very minute we're born to the last minute we spend here. It's breathtaking. It's beautiful.
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:iconskeletonsbasements:
SkeletonsBasements Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
<3
A wonderful poem indeed!
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:icontallstar12:
tallstar12 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
This is great!
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013   Writer
Thank you!
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:icontallstar12:
tallstar12 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
No prob. :)
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:iconstraight-butch29:
straight-butch29 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey...this one's really creative. :thumbsup: Could you check out mine too please?----->straight-butch29.deviantart.co…
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013   Writer
Thank you. :heart:
And I'm all for the repetitiveness of it, but the last line sort of kills it. If I were you, I'd change it to something like "you tell me." Or "I'm still trying to figure that out myself." Drives the point home, that you're still confused and hurt and angry.
Reply
:iconstraight-butch29:
straight-butch29 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
 I guess that's what I am- confused, hurt, and angry at that male, Luis Rahman. I mean...I thought he was actually going to propose to me, judging from the way he acted (which is everything stated in the poem). Everyone did, in fact. But it turns out all he wanted was just "friendship". 
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013   Writer
You can't always blame people for their own wants, even if it's really hard. Even if you're let down, and hurt. What would clear the confusion is understanding his decision, and respecting it. You can't linger on the whys and whatifs. Accepting it will mute the pain a lot less.
Reply
:iconstraight-butch29:
straight-butch29 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the advice. The thing is I don't think it is going to THAT easy trying to leave behind a guy that awakens romantic feelings in you without having the actual desire to start a relationship in the first place. Looks like he's a player-  like what one of my friends told me from the start. She told me that he "has a habit of giving girls whom he finds attractive false hopes of romance and then rejecting them right after that". And she has known him longer than I have. Should've listened to her ><
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013   Writer
Just know that, whatever's happened, it's not your fault. <3 I've been in the same position a few times, and I know that it's frustrating.
Reply
:iconstraight-butch29:
straight-butch29 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh...thank you so much for assuring me that it's NOT my fault, dearie. Everyone else who knows about this seems to blame ME for being the desperate girl who can't see what was coming ahead by being involved with him. Society's like that- somehow the girl always gets the blame. 
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013   Writer
That's misogyny at work.
Don't believe it. 
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(1 Reply)
:iconpearlscat:
PearlsCat Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Absolutely lovely.
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013   Writer
Thank you. :heart:
Reply
:iconhiivala:
hiivala Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I just learned about the actual "four kinds of love" last week:
Agape (or principled love)... which is a conquest. Even loving our enemies, or those we do not like.
Philia is brotherly love.
Storge is natural affection, as in the family.
And eros, is romantic love :)

This would inspire a good poem, as well. You may use this if you wish. But I am enjoying your writing, as always.

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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013   Writer
That's actually really interesting. I'll keep that in mind for later. Thank you for sharing. :D
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