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July 10, 2013
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1.
People will let you down.
You’ll love them, anyways.

Don’t let anyone romanticize
that.
It won’t be beautiful
when somebody breaks your heart
the first time
or the second
or the eighteenth.

Pain is not beautiful.
Maybe on paper
but not inside of you
not in numbers.

A million people
kill themselves
every year
but you’re still here,
and that's important.

You're doing something
right.



2.
My father told me
“Be selfish –
if you don’t take care of you
who will?”

I liked to think
that this is the reason
he ignored me
growing up.

(I’m sorry.
I don’t have good advice
on this one.
Because the people who let you down,
you’ll find,
are the ones promised to save you.
Are the ones promised to love you
and protect you
and I’ll tell you,
nothing quite hurts
like waking up in the morning
to the police in your doorway.
Nothing quite hurts
like being eleven
and hearing a cop say
“Poor girl had to live with a drunk;
That man should be ashamed”
and not being able
to disagree.)



3.
Getting over it hurts the most.
You’ll think you have
then, deep into the night,
you’ll remember
and the tears will come
faster than you can fight them.

Getting over it hurts
because you can’t.

(If you have, tell me how.


Please.)



4.
There will be a time
you’ll reach out for a friend
or a lover
or a parent
or anyone at all
and your hand will touch
empty space.

They’re not dead,
just gone.

You’ll have pushed them away.



5.
Often, I’ve found there’s no sadder story
than the one a stranger tells.

You’ll find yourself feeling sorry
for a man on a subway
at three AM
with two kids
and nowhere to go,

or the girl with no shoes
and a dirty face
her chin on her knees
and her eyes cast away
because she’s too afraid
to even make
eye contact.

You’ll find yourself
feeling sorry
for someone long gone;
you may hear how Vincent Van Gogh
once ate yellow paint
because he thought it would get
the happiness
inside of him.

And something about it
will strike you as the saddest story
you’ve ever heard
because he wasn’t crazy,
he just wanted to be loved.

(And you can’t say
that you don’t feel the same.)

You may find yourself in tears
you may find your heart heavy
(and it’s okay)
for somebody
you never knew.



6.
Somebody will tell you:
“A fifteen year old girl killed herself
because of cyberbullying.”

Somebody will tell you:
“There are only 3,000 tigers
left on Earth.”

Somebody will tell you:
“A white cop raped six black women
and got away with it.”

Never mind that they posted her address
online, and called her family after,
saying that she deserved to die.

Never mind that there were
100,000 tigers in the wild
one hundred years ago.

Never mind that one woman
tried fighting back
and they arrested her
for assaulting a police officer.

You will say, with a sigh:
“I’m used to it.”

And the saddest part of all is,
eventually,
you will be.



7.
Understand,
at some point,
your ex will call you annoying.

At some point,
somebody will call you weird
somebody will look at you
and their nose will wrinkle
and they’ll say “Wow.
What a freak.”

Don’t smile and
please,
don’t say “Thank you.”

The world isn’t cruel,
it’s the people in it,
and you’re better than that.

Scream at them,
get angry;

Let them know
that you love yourself enough
to fight back.



8.
You’ll learn that
there’s nothing worse
than the tears in a child’s eyes
the first time they’re yelled at
because it has to happen
but it can't,
not to a kid.

Maybe you’ll see it.
Maybe you’ll feel yourself
extending an arm
reaching
but it’s too late.

The innocence
is already gone
forever.
You’ll be reaching for something
that is no longer there.



9.
Somebody close to you
will die.
They’ll die far away
by themselves
and it will be awful.

After, a friend will say,
“It’s so terrible
that they had to die alone.”

And you'll agree,

and I’m sorry,
but we all die alone.
Advice, from me to you. For the hard days.
Please, don't forget that I will always love every single one of you.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconwitchoftales:
WitchofTales Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
All of your poems are making me tear up, but only because your messages are so powerful, meaningful, and honest! I'm sorry I don't have any better words than these, but your work is honestly very, very, very beautiful. 
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014   Writer
Thank you! This is definitely one of my favorites. 
Reply
:iconstreamstripe:
Streamstripe Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much. Words can't describe how much you've helped me. No-one's here for me, hasn't been for a long time and now that I found your poems I feel like I'm not alone and will get through this. Thank you so much.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014   Writer
You're most welcome. <3
Reply
:iconsigmadragonheart:
SigmaDragonheart Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is... wow... no words for it. Beautiful words that reveal a sad truth... Still, I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you very much for writing this.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013   Writer
It was my pleasure. :heart:
Reply
:iconyoutwitface:
youtwitface Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013
oh, man, this almost made me cry but I have no words for this other than "beautiful" and "true." Thank you for writing this; I really needed it today. :')
~LJ
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013   Writer
Not a problem! Glad to be of help. :heart:
Reply
:iconbwall83:
bwall83 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"Often, I’ve found there’s no sadder story
than the one a stranger tells."

Best line of anything I have read of yours so far and you write wonderfully!

Keep it up.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013   Writer
Thanks, I will! :D
Reply
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