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i read once,
“Adults often forget
what it’s like being young
because they block it out.”


right after that:

Similar to trauma victims.
--



last summer, when i told that man
old enough to be my father
that i had a boyfriend,
he said “so?”

when I told him i was a minor,
he said “and?”

there are no boundaries anymore,
no barriers.
and don’t tell me
“boys will be boys”
because that doesn’t make it
okay.

don’t tell me
I was asking for it
because what I’m really asking for
is for it
to stop.
--



i wish i was a person
and not numbers on a scale.
i wish i was a human being
and not the cleavage in my tank top.

i wish we would stop hating ourselves.
i wish girls were allowed to say no
and eat every day
and forget to shave their legs.

i wish boys were allowed to cry
and be ballerinas
and speak up
when something hurts.

god.
i wish we thought
we deserved more.


(and don’t tell me
none of this is supposed to bother me

because it does.)
--



listen. i’m sick.
sick of having to hear honks
and whistles
and “hey, baby!”
and being told
“maybe if you covered up a little more.”

sick of having to see rape stories
all over the news
and being told
“she probably led him on.”

this is not a fault in my brain.
do not trivialize me
because i’m an angry
seventeen year old girl.

do not trivialize me
because you’re afraid to admit
that something
is wrong.
--



we are seen
for the length of our shorts.
we are seen
for the size of our bras.

nobody can see us
because we’re walking stereotypes.
words invented to hurt us
for the choices we make.

bitch, whore, dyke, prude.
“i’d fuck you straight, girl”
“cunt.”
“you should feel lucky
that any guy would touch you.
fatty.”

my body,
my hormones,
and my biochemistry
have been turned against me.

but why
doesn’t anybody notice?

doesn’t anybody care?
--



parents,
if you know what it’s like
to be a kid,
fucking act like it.
don’t tell me
you don’t remember.
don’t tell me
you blocked it all out.
don’t tell me
to ignore it.

how about this?

i’ll ignore it
the moment “yesterday”
becomes “thirty years ago.”
--



i’m scared, and i’m alone.
sixth grade girls
are giving blowjobs
to boys in my homeroom
just so they can feel wanted
and forty year old women
sell sex tips
that don’t work
because somewhere along the way,
we let sex
define us.

and somewhere along the way,
boys became nothing but animals
and girls became rental spaces
on legs.

when did it become a competition?


why weren’t we warned?
Submitted this a while ago as a journal.
I'm really liking this poetic format.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconxxemi-angel-chanxx:
xxEmi-AnGeL-chanxx Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hi! I'm from GrammarNaziCritiques and I'll be reviewing your poem today :)

Wow. This was a bold poem. A lot of people would find this hard to put into a readable format, but you did and it was good to read... And harrowing too... Seeing the darkness of our world expressed in verse.

Personally I think your opening quote didnt need to be broken up, simply having the "similar to trauma victims" part might actually be more effective.

I thought the verse where you quoted all the derogatory things that were said especially powerful, accumulating them all made them seem like an assault which I found conveyed your message perfectly.

I also really liked the verse which extended the injustices to the pressures put upon boys, because girls aren't the only ones limited by stereotypical gender roles.

I found there was a bit of a conflict in section six which I didn't quite get. I understood the importance of bringing the parental block back into it, considering how you introduced it in the beginning, but I feel that the whole "don't tell me to forget... I'll forget in 30 years" bit wasn't adding too it's strength. I think if it was more of a plea for them to remember it could add to the "why weren't we warned?" Line.

Talking of which I loved that bit. Very well done.

Finally, please bear in mind that all of the above is solely my opinion. I aim to highlight aspects you may not have considered yourself but don't take my suggestions as compulsory. Ultimately it comes down to whether you are completely satisfied with this poem.
Reply
:iconcatchaotica:
catchaotica Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I really like a lot about this poem, it comes across as very raw and the lack of capitalization really adds to that. Well done, and well said.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014   Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconpatternvsuser:
PatternVSUser Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It seems the 'sexual revolution' made us more confused than free.

What an accurate description of this confusion. I'm a guy and I see myself in this poem, I see this confusion and distress around me.

"i wish boys were allowed to cry
and be ballerinas
and speak up
when something hurts."

Sadly, that doesn't make for attractive guys.

I love your stuff, really.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013   Writer
I don't know why you saw confusion here. :? There's only anger in this poem.

Firstly, that's not universally true. Personally I am absolutely attracted to guys who are willing to express their emotions, who don't grit their jaws and bite their tongues when they're in pain. And secondly, even if it were true, it doesn't matter what makes for an attractive guy. A person's life shouldn't be centered around being attractive. It's centered around being happy and being free and being allowed to do as they wish.
Reply
:iconpatternvsuser:
PatternVSUser Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Confusion because we're trapped between just wanting to satisfy our sexual needs, and between feeling as if we don't fuck 1000 people we're doing something wrong.

My experience tells me sensitive guys make for good shoulders to cry on sometimes, but that's it.
Reply
:iconblackquartz:
BlackQuartz Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Ohmygod, thank you. Thank you for understanding how I feel, because I go to a girls school and the amount of shit we get for being 'slutty whores' is unbelievable. And I've never worn anything shorter than three quarter length trousers and yet I'm judged because people are goddamnit my fingers are shaking and I can't even write properly I'll try again.

If only you could see my face, you'd probably laugh. God, your work makes me so pathetic inside.

I'm so sorry that I can't give you the praise you deserve, but my god, all I can say is thank you. Thank you for trying to let everybody know what's wrong with the world, because I'm horribly weak to do it myself and to know that somebody out there is trying too makes me feel that much better. Thanks, man.

(Proof of how much your words mean -- I showed this to my brother and I heard him crying in his room, after I left.)
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013   Writer
I'm really sorry. :cries: I don't mean to make you feel pathetic. I swear.
You're most welcome. :heart: Though I'm still sorry for your pain. It's not something anybody should have to endure.
Reply
:iconi-lie:
i-lie Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013
YES.  I am speechless except for a yelling cheer going off in my head.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013   Writer
Thanks! :w00t!:
Reply
:iconizfish:
izfish Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My parents say they remember, but it seems like everything was so different 25 years ago. According to them, middle school's not THAT bad. 
I'm going into 9th, and it was hell.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   Writer
I don't know what changed. Our parents are raising us right (for the most part.) Even thirty years ago, drugs were barely considered dangerous until D.A.R.E and all the stars started dying from them. I would like to believe, with all this technology on hand, our intelligence has expanded. But it feels like the exact opposite.

And middle school was the worst for me, too. Eighth grade, in particular; that was four years ago and to this day, I still hate even thinking about it.
Reply
:iconthatsparklystalker:
ThatSparklyStalker Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013
I cannot describe how much this speaks to me. I feel like shouting this poem from every rooftop in the hopes that more people will see it. 
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   Writer
I wouldn't mind that at all. :heart: 
Reply
:iconrenny16:
Renny16 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Everything of yours that I'm reading hurts in a wonderful way
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013   Writer
<3 Thank you.
Reply
:icontgiba:
TGIBA Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I just suffered a minor heart attack. 

I cannot even begin to explain how much this struck a chord with me... This cuts to the very part of me that I've tried so hard to hide from everyone else, because I was scared that If they knew, that i could never be accepted. 

This is writing in it's purest form. This is something that needs to be broadcast loud and clear- I want to see it on billboards, I want to hear it on the radio, I want this to be embedded in people's minds and held there, preserved forever like a creature in amber. 

This is the story I want to tell my children, as a warning about the past, as a hope that they will never have to live through this because I have lived through it. And I do not want to see another child taken like I was, to be stained forever in the crimson of a sin that cannot be washed away.

I mean this when I say it- and all those times that I have said it before must be taken back because this trumps them all. 
Truer words have NEVER BEFORE been written. 

I'm still in shock... And this will be a poem I read over and over because it is raw, pure, undeniable truth. 

Thank you for putting into words what our society most needs to see, learn, and dwell on. 
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013   Writer
This is the kindest comment I've ever received. Thank you so much for that. :happybounce:
Reply
:icontgiba:
TGIBA Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Awwh, I'm so glad you liked it!!!!!! :heart: 

Your writing meant so much to me- I just had to tell you how much. :)
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   Writer
:heart: Thank you for telling me.
Reply
:icontgiba:
TGIBA Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh you are so welcome my darling~ :heart:
Reply
:iconxosoul:
xoSoul Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is my most favourite thing in the whole world. Beautiful. :heart:
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013   Writer
Thank you so much. :D
Reply
:iconovertsexualized:
overtsexualized Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This was refreshing. It's hard to push back against the status quo, but if you do, and you do it for yourself, it's the most empowering feeling in the world. If you are seventeen years old than I am super impressed with your thought processes. Keep it up.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013   Writer
I am indeed seventeen. And thank you. :heart: I try my best to stay safe, but feel like I haven't let the fear get to me at the same time.
Reply
:iconmayonaka1:
Mayonaka1 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013
I really love the style you write in. It's very refreshing and helps to give myself ideas. I really love this piece too because it's what everyone should think and feel about this. You put this subject down on paper in a way that was understandable to everyone who read it. I just really enjoy reading your work.
Reply
:iconpoelee:
Poelee Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013
Beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013   Writer
Thank you very much.
Reply
:icontheinvisble:
TheInvisble Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
God. You're amazing.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013   Writer
Thank you. :love:
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013  Student Writer
Well done. I like the format too - it fits together really well and has very few awkward spots. I love how you can speak about something so controversial and have it make so much sense:heart:
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013   Writer
Thanks. This was originally prose, but I liked how this turned out a lot. 
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome!:D
Reply
:iconsilencedbook9:
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013  Student Writer
Need a hug? 
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013   Writer
No, thank you. :heart:
Reply
:iconmisery-business93:
misery-business93 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013
This is the absolutely truth and I admire you for bringing it up. It's something people just don't want to have to deal with. I don't understand why on a night out several guys seem to think it's alright to grab my ass as if I'm some piece of meat. When did people stop being people and start becoming objects? Sorry rant over. Fair play though, the format is brill and it really works :)
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013   Writer
It took me a long time to realize that all the ass-grabbing, leering, "Nice tits", etc. weren't compliments, they were harassment and they were highly inappropriate. 
And honestly, I don't know. I don't know what makes them think it's okay, what they were taught, or by who. All I know is objectification is bullshit.

And thank you. :heart:
Reply
:iconminingfordegus:
MiningForDegus Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013

Reminds me of the things I've seen on Everyday Sexism www.everydaysexism.com/

 

It tells me again that this is real and that even though I don't see any of that stuff where I live, it still exists. I feel sorry for you. Or rather, I would if I hadn't subconsciously to forget these incidents after reading 40+ pages of that website and finding it too disturbing. Nobody should have to go through that.

Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013   Writer
Everyday Sexism is definitely one of the best projects I've ever seen. 
I guess it's a wake-up call, though. And I agree, that nobody should have to go through it. It shouldn't happen at all. 
Reply
:iconintroverted-ghost:
introverted-ghost Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013   Writer

Brutally honest and very powerful.

 

Well done, dear. Hug 

Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013   Writer
Thank you! :glomp:
Reply
:iconreylinn:
Reylinn Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013
This is beautiful, raw and frightening. It isn't my style of poetry but I love that you just say everything that people just push under the carpet. I'm 27 and I feel the same way. We as adults don't think about it because we don't have to. Or we judge it. I myself have been told that I should be happy that people are hitting on me when I don't want the attention. That it should be taken as a complement. Some times there is no solution. The only one I found is to love myself regardless of who has mistreated me, because its my story not theirs.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013   Writer
Thank you for your praise. :love: And being told to appreciate harassment is, frankly, ridiculous - I've heard that plenty of times. "You should be happy guys find you attractive!" is popular with my friends. The thing is, I am happy that they find my attractive; I'm not happy for the whistling and cat-calling and leering, however. There's a line between giving a woman a compliment and harassing her. There's a line between being respectful and just being plain creepy, or scary, in some cases.

I actually found a funny and really effective guide to deflecting specific types of harassment; it's definitely not a permanent solution, but it can be a great way to call guys out on it. 
Reply
:iconteirra-misaki:
Teirra-Misaki Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Student General Artist

this generation in a nutshell

beautifully written if I do say so myself, great work.

 

its hard to believe how much things change from when we're all just innocent little kids to teenagers and adults who've come to learn about and experience the hard troubles of the true world...though of course there are still little kids that know a little too early as well.  its scary

 

this poem really makes you think and I love that. keep up the good work, it'd be great to see more in the future

Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013   Writer
Thank you very much. :love:

It's even scarier that part of adulthood is learning how much life not only sucks, but also accepting it without argument.
Reply
:iconsvenspade09:
svenspade09 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013
The world is destroying its self and us ids are seeing it happen the boundaries of this world are no more and no one cares any more yet you must stay strong for you will be one that survives your to good to be swallowed up.... stay strong.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013   Writer
Thank you. I promise I'll try.
Reply
:iconsvenspade09:
svenspade09 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013
and if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here.
Reply
:iconfresh-t:
Fresh-T Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013
I really like this poem, sad it may be.  The format feels like you're speaking directly about something personal.

And it is quite real, us men have lost our charm these days, it seems.  I think it's a good thing society has become less prudish, though it is pretty shocking and saddening when I learn about the things people around me are doing...

I really hope you don't actually relate to this poem TOO much, but it is very good.  It's disturbing yet elegant.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013   Writer
Thank you. :heart: 
And it's not that men have lost their charm. What they're taught as kids is just fucked up as all hell.
Reply
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July 26, 2013
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