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:iconcolbalt-rain: More from colbalt-rain


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Lit Poems by lizard6745

Literature by ember53608

Writing by dragoniting


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Submitted on
November 4, 2012
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1.8 KB
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    5. I think I'm afraid of sex. It's terrifying that two people can fit together perfectly, without even really liking each other at all. 4. I'm afraid of the day I start replacing myself with somebody else in all of our pictures; of the day I'll see my reflection and wish I didn't have to. 3. I'm afraid of doctors, and medicine. The first time I took lithium, I couldn't hold it down. So I locked the bathroom door and flushed the entire bottle. The second time, I couldn't walk more than ten steps without falling. Honestly, I'm just wondering why they use poison to purify me. 2. I'm afraid of the ocean. I'm afraid of looking down one day, and not seeing the edges. Of there being nothing there. I'm afraid of falling and having nothing to catch me. There's already nobody. The ground is really all I have. 1. I'm afraid of breaking things. Like, once, I broke my dad's trust in me. Once I broke somebody's heart. Once I broke my kindergarten teacher's favorite mug. The day after, though, she glued all of the pieces together into a sculpture. She took a broken thing and made it beautiful. And me, I'm still working on that. (And they all broke because I never held on in the first place. I'm always too afraid to let go.) 0. And mostly. I'm afraid of becoming a parent. I just can't stand imagining another child grow up, knowing exactly how to hate their mother.
I'm sorry I keep writing stories about me.
Also I know zero is not a number.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconthe-music-prophet:
the-music-prophet Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
fears hardly ever fade
I'd like to believe that's why its so important to overcome them... 
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014   Writer
Facing your fears is probably the strongest medicine out there.
Too bad I still haven't done it.
Reply
:iconthe-music-prophet:
the-music-prophet Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I agree, danger seems so small and invincibility inevitable..
We're on the same page. Although I've gotten quite good at running away...
Reply
:iconthe-music-prophet:
the-music-prophet Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
2,1,0 hit me the hardest... I saw myself in those fears
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner May 25, 2014   Writer
I wrote this poem nearly two years ago, and it's still 100% true.
That's the scariest thing about it. 
Reply
:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I favorited this in November 10 2012 to read it. I don't know if I should be disappointed in how late I am or happy that I still did it. Well that was a unique list and quite an emotional one as well. The fear of Ocean and Breaking things felt the most touching to me perhaps since I could relate to them. Other than that, well I hope you make a good mother :heart: And if you try, you will :tighthug:
Reply
:icontgiba:
TGIBA Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Fears that are all actually, quite rational(I think) and understandable!!! Seeing them written here is like a wake up call, causing me to realize the fears I'd had but hadn't realized.

Again, an excellent work as always, filled with the raw and bitter and yet still wonderfully true emotions that you weave into your work. :heart:
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013   Writer
Thank you. :love: Reading all of your comments has been a treat.
My newest piece (no spoilers) is actually about fear. Phobias, actually.
Reply
:iconavalanchepark:
avalanchepark Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013
zero is not only a number , it is the most important number , the 'invention' of zero was critical to a mathematical understanding

zero is not nothing , it is the lack of something.

I was a little confused by the numbering because it wasn't clear if it was historical (working back from current fears to first ones) or some other ordering

which means I am dense - as with the others I have favd the writing is really excellent here ,
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013   Writer
The numbering is indeed significant - the fears in order of least to most intense.
And thank. :heart:
Reply
:icondrawingdreamlyrics:
DrawingDreamLyrics Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013
It's okay to be afraid of something Everyone is
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013   Writer
Sometimes I feel like my fear controlled me. But I'm getting better. <3
Reply
:icondrawingdreamlyrics:
DrawingDreamLyrics Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013
That's good! %uD83D%uDC4D:)
Reply
:iconspotted-fawn:
spotted-fawn Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
wow. this poem is amazing. really raw and emotional and gah. especially the very last line - this is gonna sound really cheesy but it made my heart hurt.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013   Writer
That's not cheesy at all. Thank you. :love:
Reply
:icontheinvisble:
TheInvisble Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Zero is a number. I like it.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013   Writer
Thank you. :heart:
Reply
:iconizfish:
izfish Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Zero's a hero~

Very good, though. I like it.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013   Writer
Thank you very much.
Reply
:iconizfish:
izfish Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem~
Reply
:iconillfatedsoul:
IllFatedSoul Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Student General Artist
Your just like me in writing this!
I'm full of fears ._.
It makes me want to open up and scream to the world all my secrets.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013   Writer
It's not so much that I'm full of fears, more that they control me. Especially at night.
Reply
:iconautumn-spirit:
autumn-spirit Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013
very emotional.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013   Writer
:hug: Thanks.
Reply
:iconautumn-spirit:
autumn-spirit Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013
you're welcome :)
Reply
:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013   Writer
I will be critiquing this piece on behalf of
:iconsuperwritershelp:

Firstly, I like how you titled the poem 'zero' because it really brings home the final point you make within your piece.

Now, the crit:
:bulletred: ST = Stanza
:bulletred: L = Line

5.
What's interesting here is that you say 'think' I'm afraid. As if you aren't really sure. All the other places you are definite (I am afraid).
Also, you make a very good point, but, I would counter argue, are they really fitting perfectly if they don't have that emotional fit?

4.
I'm afraid I don't really get this point, unless it's a direct follow-on from the previous point. If so, I would say 'the day I 'have to start' replacing myself.

3.
Thankfully I have never had to have lithium, though my doctor has been suggesting it subtly for the last four months. I know what taking medication can be like, and I empathise with you on this point.

2.
A genuine fear explained in a unique and expressive way. Do you feel the same way about flying, or is that ok because you can see the land below?

1.
You have a bit of a contradiction here. You say that the broke because you never held on because you were afraid of letting go. Now I understand this to mean that, taking a person for example, you were afraid to hold on in case you had to let them go their own way and that fear of having to let them go was what held you back from holding on. However, it could be read differently. I would consider playing around with some of the wording with this one.

0.
This is an exceptionally powerful line to end the piece with. It just packs a great punch and makes one open their eyes and go 'wow'.

Overall:
This seemed to be a very emotional piece, yet the emotion was not overdone. You also used great imagery to explain those emotions.
Your grammar, spelling and punctuation is very good.

:star::star::star::star::star:
Jo
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013   Writer
I love critiques like this - especially yours and all of your lovely criticisms.

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this, I really appreciate it. :love:
Reply
:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013   Writer
No problem
Reply
:iconwhen-sunshine-rains:
When-Sunshine-Rains Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013
Gosh i love how simply and surely you put everything. And, my gosh I have these exact same fears. I love how you describe them...quite romantic for what they are :)
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013   Writer
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:icongirasolia:
Girasolia Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow.
Someday I hope that I can become half as great of a writer as you are. That alone would make me happy, but I know that the most likely way for that to happen would be for me to go through some of what you have, with bipolar disorder and all. I think I might have a mild case of the less severe version of bi, but that is nothing compared to the true.
I have found a new person to watch on here. <3 Keep up the great work~
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013   Writer
:blush:
And honestly, I don't think you'd want this. I might make it sound romantic, but believe, it's not as pretty as I've written it to be.

:hug: Thank you!
Reply
:icongirasolia:
Girasolia Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Student General Artist
I know, one of my favorite bands' singer, Amy Lee from Evanescence, has bipolar, and she has written a song about lithium.

:glomp:You're welcome~!
Reply
:iconfawnlynx:
fawnlynx Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, if -1 is a number, 0 is definitely a number.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013   Writer
An important one, at that. :heart:
Reply
:icontrollgirl:
TrollGirl Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
5. And more terrifying how often they still choose to do it.

0.Yes, me too, so i never did and never will.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013   Writer
I know. It's a shame, really.
And I don't know about that one, to be honest. I might change my mind. Knowing how inconsistent I am, I probably will.
Reply
:iconshadow-chameleon:
shadow-chameleon Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Student Writer
In an odd sense to relate, I'm afraid of falling into the sky. To one day float away, never feeling the ground anymore, and falling into air way above until I freeze...run out of oxygen...hit the outside of the atmosphere, dying by a mixture of both, whichever happens first!
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013   Writer
(omg iT'S NICK)

And flying doesn't scare me as much as just wide open water. Ugh. Where there's no edges, no ground. No absolute space.
Reply
:iconshadow-chameleon:
shadow-chameleon Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Student Writer
Flying doesn't scare me as much as falling. owo And you mean for the last part nothing solid t grasp? |D Because in wide, open water, you got tons of space! Just nothing to hold onto~
Reply
:iconnamiedanielle:
NamieDanielle Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
(:
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013   Writer
:squee:
Reply
:iconnamiedanielle:
NamieDanielle Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
:meow:
Reply
:iconshetried:
Shetried Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
Stop being afraid.

Why not? There's nothing left to lose, after all.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013   Writer
I've always been afraid. But you're right – I've already lost everything. Maybe it'd be a better way to live?
Reply
:iconshetried:
Shetried Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
Laugh in their faces!

But keep a little bit of softness for yourself, somewhere, just to be on the safe side. :)
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Student General Artist
It is a number.
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013   Writer
A significant one at that. :)
Reply
:iconwithinmeloveresides1:
withinmeloveresides1 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Writer
Critique for :iconsuperwritershelp:'s contest

This is a beautiful poem. It's so vulnerable and full of fear and it's wonderful that you're able to open up. I myself have many of these fears and it's comforting to see others do too. The structure is good but a suggestion is perhaps you could thread all those events/fears together to make a movie in the reader's head. The girl is afraid to have sex in the fear that she'll begin to lose herself to her lover or perhaps the person for the one night stand, and in turn is frightened at seeing someone who isn't her in the mirror because of this. She's terrified of the ocean because it reminds her of lithium, perhaps the color reminds her of the medicine. She's afraid to break things because her love in her mother broke and turned into hatred. So very many ideas!
The girl is a very vivid person with her own fears and hopes, shown wonderfully in this poem. :heart:
Reply
:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012   Writer
Oh my gosh.
Thank you so much. This is seriously the sweetest thing ever.
Reply
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