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November 4, 2012
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    5. I think I'm afraid of sex. It's terrifying that two people can fit together perfectly, without even really liking each other at all. 4. I'm afraid of the day I start replacing myself with somebody else in all of our pictures; of the day I'll see my reflection and wish I didn't have to. 3. I'm afraid of doctors, and medicine. The first time I took lithium, I couldn't hold it down. So I locked the bathroom door and flushed the entire bottle. The second time, I couldn't walk more than ten steps without falling. Honestly, I'm just wondering why they use poison to purify me. 2. I'm afraid of the ocean. I'm afraid of looking down one day, and not seeing the edges. Of there being nothing there. I'm afraid of falling and having nothing to catch me. There's already nobody. The ground is really all I have. 1. I'm afraid of breaking things. Like, once, I broke my dad's trust in me. Once I broke somebody's heart. Once I broke my kindergarten teacher's favorite mug. The day after, though, she glued all of the pieces together into a sculpture. She took a broken thing and made it beautiful. And me, I'm still working on that. (And they all broke because I never held on in the first place. I'm always too afraid to let go.) 0. And mostly. I'm afraid of becoming a parent. I just can't stand imagining another child grow up, knowing exactly how to hate their mother.
I'm sorry I keep writing stories about me.
Also I know zero is not a number.
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:iconthe-music-prophet:
the-music-prophet Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
fears hardly ever fade
I'd like to believe that's why its so important to overcome them... 
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014   Writer
Facing your fears is probably the strongest medicine out there.
Too bad I still haven't done it.
Reply
:iconthe-music-prophet:
the-music-prophet Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I agree, danger seems so small and invincibility inevitable..
We're on the same page. Although I've gotten quite good at running away...
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:iconthe-music-prophet:
the-music-prophet Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
2,1,0 hit me the hardest... I saw myself in those fears
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner May 25, 2014   Writer
I wrote this poem nearly two years ago, and it's still 100% true.
That's the scariest thing about it. 
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I favorited this in November 10 2012 to read it. I don't know if I should be disappointed in how late I am or happy that I still did it. Well that was a unique list and quite an emotional one as well. The fear of Ocean and Breaking things felt the most touching to me perhaps since I could relate to them. Other than that, well I hope you make a good mother :heart: And if you try, you will :tighthug:
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:icontgiba:
TGIBA Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Fears that are all actually, quite rational(I think) and understandable!!! Seeing them written here is like a wake up call, causing me to realize the fears I'd had but hadn't realized.

Again, an excellent work as always, filled with the raw and bitter and yet still wonderfully true emotions that you weave into your work. :heart:
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013   Writer
Thank you. :love: Reading all of your comments has been a treat.
My newest piece (no spoilers) is actually about fear. Phobias, actually.
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:iconavalanchepark:
avalanchepark Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013
zero is not only a number , it is the most important number , the 'invention' of zero was critical to a mathematical understanding

zero is not nothing , it is the lack of something.

I was a little confused by the numbering because it wasn't clear if it was historical (working back from current fears to first ones) or some other ordering

which means I am dense - as with the others I have favd the writing is really excellent here ,
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:iconcolbalt-rain:
colbalt-rain Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013   Writer
The numbering is indeed significant - the fears in order of least to most intense.
And thank. :heart:
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